Anybody out there remember Mr. Rogers?  As a little boy, I watched Mr. Rogers pretty faithfully.  There was something about the show that just made life feel good.  I could learn about different people in the world and somehow Mr. Rogers was teaching me to appreciate them despite how different we were.  He just wanted us all to be neighborly.  Would you be mine?  Could you be mine?  Won't you be my neighbor?  That was the mantra of the show.  It came across in a demeanor that all could appreciate.  

Nowadays, we'll do just about everything we can to keep from having neighbors.  We build fences, we buy bigger lots, we put up shades, and we keep to ourselves.  The once front porch of America has now become the secluded and private back porch.  Now longer do passersby see us on the porch and greet us.  Instead, we escape from the monotony of our lives in to the seclusion of our fenced in and very private backyards.  But aren't we missing something while keeping to ourselves?  


What exactly does Mr. Rogers have to do with the Shema and the spiritual rhythm we talked about in the previous post?  Well, maybe this is a stretch, but Jesus and Mr. Rogers seem to have had a lot in common (beside the sweater jacket and loafers of course!).  What exactly did they have in common you questionably ask?  Well, I think their mantra was one in the same.  It was about being a neighbor.  

Not only did Jesus know the Shema as an obedient Jew, but he actually lived it out each day.  Aaaand, he did something radical (not Jesus right...) and added to our understanding of the Shema in the New Testament.  Sure, for Jesus it was great for us to be in rhythm with God as we sit, walk, lie down, and rise up.  But Jesus made it more than back porch faith.  In fact, he was calling us to return to front porch faith that was lived out in the presence of neighbors.  According to Jesus, the Shema lived out ought to engage our neighbors.  So, as families, if the Shema is about creating a spiritual rhythm for our homes and children, then perhaps Jesus is calling us to create as a part of that rhythm something neighborly.  Perhaps, Jesus is calling us to actually care for and invest in our neighbors.  Perhaps Jesus is calling to make his and Mr. Rogers mantra our own.  Does the world hear us asking them, "Would you be mine, could you be mine, won't you be my neighbor?"  Do they hear anything from us at all?  Or, is what they hear something that is hurtful and damaging?  


Let's take a look at Jesus' revision of the Shema:


³⁶ “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”
 ³⁷ Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’³⁸ This is the first and greatest commandment. ³⁹ And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’⁴⁰ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:36-40)


Everything hangs on these two commandments.  Did you get that?  Not options...We can't really claim to be followers of Christ if a part of the spiritual rhythm we are trying to create in our homes or lives doesn't involve asking people to be our neighbors.  What part of your life as a family is intentionally living out this call?  Will your kids remember the vacations you take them on when they're older?  Sure.  What kind of lasting impact will they have?  Maybe we should be challenged to create experiences that confront our students perspectives or biases.  Maybe we should take family trips where the goal is to serve and etch eternal significance into the spiritual lives of our students.  It's easy to want to create an environment in your home because in essence, you have control.  When it comes to engaging neighbors, it's in God's control.  An exercise in following these two commandments from Christ is an exercise in participating in God's sovereignty, trusting that he is at work engaging the hearts of people before we even come into contact with them.  But remember, he chose us to bless the world (Genesis 15).  As followers, it is a commandment for us to engage and love our neighbors (Am I my brother's keeper?).  


How can we expect students to live out this mantra if we haven't created space for it to become actualized in our own lives?  It's a little scary to be honest.  What if we teach our kids to love their neighbors as if it was the greatest commandment?  Honestly, they might look at our values and our efforts to maintain status quo and see a break in what we say we believe and what we live out.  I want our students to love their neighbors.  I want my one day kids to love their neighbors.  I want them to appreciate the differences that make us so unique and illustrate just how big, marvelous, and creative our God is.  I want them to be better than my generation.  It's time to start teaching them rhythm so the rest of the world can hear the beat of God's heart.   

The Shema and Superficial Standards

Can we be honest here?  None of us are, have been, or will ever be perfect parents.  I haven't been able to identify the perfect parent so I can be their apprentice.  Furthermore, none of us have had perfect parents.  For some of us that is pretty easy to admit.  For others of us, our parents are our heroes.  The fact of the matter is that imperfect people never had the ability to be perfect parents in the first place.  Heck, I’m not even a parent yet!  So before you jump all over me for even trying to discuss parenting teenagers, give me a chance.   

I have caught myself thinking of what it will be like to one day be a parent.  I have thought of the things I want to instill in my kids and what I want to provide them with.  I thought of taking them on great vacations to bond, playing baseball in the summers, buying them a car when they turn sixteen, and sending them to college to get an education.  All great things right?  And then, I had one of those encounters with scripture that reminds you your priorities are all screwed up.  You know?  One of those encounters where God gently tries to remind you that he is in charge.  That moment came when I had this encounter with The Shema (which means hear or listen).  This is the passage recited twice a day by Hebrews taken from Deuteronomy 6:4-9.

“Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.”

Somewhere along the line culture handed us a ruler by which to measure success as a parent.  Over time I began to think that college and career were the most important.  It’s not that they’re not important, it’s just that they’re not what’s most important.  I’m to impress on my children that the Lord is one, and it’s our call to love Him with everything we have. 

When Moses speaks these words, the people are standing before the Promised Land about to start a new part of their history.  Moses won’t make it and so he uses this time to pass on what he feels is most important to the people of Israel as they march forward.  He is fighting for faith, and he is fighting for the coming generations of faith because he knows the danger of having a generation lose its faith.  To this point, Israel understood its faith in terms of rules (just try and read Leviticus).   “Moses is establishing a new commandment that supersedes all commandments.  This new rule implies something is more important than the rules.  It elevates the significance of a relationship with God above all else, indicating that our motive for obedience should mature beyond our fear or reverence.  Moses was warning the people about the danger of passing down rules without the context of a loving relationship.”[1]

The danger of passing down rules, practices, or truth outside the context of genuine, compelling love is that you establish an empty religion.  No wonder so many teens are leaving the church when they graduate high school.  Surveys estimate anywhere from 60-80% of teens leave the church for good by age 23. 

How do we bring these numbers down, and how do we combat the danger of passing down an empty religion that no longer sticks to the hearts of our teens?  I think the Shema is cluing us into exactly what we can do.  Our students need us to make faith personal in our own lives in order for them to believe it is worth doing in their lives.  Moses feared what has happened with faith and religion in our culture.  We have compartmentalized faith.  That is to say that God only gets a small part of our lives.  Moses feared God would be marginalized in our lives to only part of the day, then perhaps only to part of the week, and finally to just part of the month.  Our tendency is to segment God into an isolated category of our lives instead of viewing him as the binding force that holds all of life together.[2]

In essence, Moses was worried about us letting life get out of rhythm.  I think if there is anything you can do as an imperfect parent, it is to strive to create a rhythm in your home bent on impressing the truths about God in the hearts of your children.  Moses doesn’t give parents a systematic process or formula for creating children who love the Lord.  Instead, he hands them the responsibility of presenting the truths of who God is, refining and adapting their presentations along the way until there is actual learning.  What he gave them that day was a strategy to create the rhythm of faith, not a formula.  His strategy – talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

Rhythm is an important part of life.  We sleep each night, and we try to give our kids a routine based on the rhythm of life.  We feel it is important in growth and development, so why aren’t we trying to create rhythms in our family that create and facilitate spiritual growth and development?  Are we out of rhythm as families in a busy culture?  I think one of the best gifts I can someday give my children is the purpose to create a spiritual rhythm in my home where they see my faith is real, and I’ll be praying that it becomes real for them too. 

Parenting, like all tasks under the sun, is intended as an endeavor of love, risk, perseverance, and, above all, faith. It is faith rather than formula, grace rather than guarantees, steadfastness rather than success that bridges the gap between our own parenting efforts, and what, by God's grace, our children grow up to become.  We will parent imperfectly, our children will make their own choices, and God will mysteriously and wondrously use it all to advance his kingdom.[3]

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[1] Think Orange: Imagine the Impact when Church and Family Collide…, pg. 58.

[2] Ibid., pg 65.

[3] http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2010/january/12.22.html?start=7

Behavior Based Gospel

A Gospel that Sticks from Fuller Youth Institute on Vimeo.

What if the Gospel was only about behavior modification?  What if the Gospel was only about a set of rules and regulations?  But really, what if...

If that were the case, then the Pharisees would have nailed it down perfectly.  There wouldn't have been any need for Jesus or the New Testament.  But don't we often live a behavior based gospel in which church life and following Christ is simply a matter of do's and don'ts?

Furthermore, if the Gospel really was all about changing behavior, we would all fail miserably.  The very essence of the Gospel is that we all fail miserably apart from the saving grace of Christ.  So why don't we live like that's the truth.  We live as if God just wants to do a few minor modifications to our lives when He is really out to transform us into something completely different.  And unfortunately, this seems to be the message we are passing on to teens.  We expect them to act right at church, at home, and school.  We expect them to set goals for life, usually without any spiritual goals, and ultimately to compartmentalize their faith for certain occasions like Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights.  Then, we are surprised when all goes wrong.  That's what happens with the story in this video.

Following the Gospel is so much more than a list of rules and regulations.  Anyone can follow a set of rules without agreeing whether or not they are necessary or beneficial.  What if we lived life as if the Gospel was necessary and beneficial?  We wouldn't just behave when the time is right.  We wouldn't just come to church because it's what we ought to do.  We can't afford as a Youth Ministry and church to teach behavior modification.  What we are out to do is to show teens that the Gospel is about grace and transformation.  The Gospel wants the heart, mind, body, and soul.  Until we show students that the Gospel has grabbed our hearts, our minds, our bodies, and our souls, students will continue to compartmentalize their faith.  It will be something used for certain occasions.  It will be something that can be packed away until it is presumably needed or necessary.  If Gospel living doesn't permeate our lives, how can we expect it to permeate theirs?  If Gospel living for us as adults is simply about right behaviors (leaving out grace, transformation, Biblical worldview, eternal perspective, the call to holiness, losing to win, giving up everything to gain even more, etc.), then we are headed toward a Christianity all about management.  You can behave Christian without ever being Christian...

The Gospel moves and chases after us.  The Gospel won't settle for anything less than all of who we are.    So if we believe in the power of the Gospel, why don't we give it all of who we are?  And why do we expect teenagers to get it if we haven't grasped it ourselves?  The Gospel is meant to change all of who we are.  It is about transformation and compassionate living.  It is about leaving everything to follow Christ.  How can we expect teenagers to leave everything for the sake of the Gospel when their faith is compartmentalized and the Gospel they know is only about right behavior and doing church?

"Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship.  And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect." -Romans 12:1-2

Be transformed by the Gospel.

Solitude...

Our society has taught us that true punishment happens in solitude, when we are left to ourselves.  Kids have to go to timeout, teenagers struggle as outcasts, single parents feel completely alone, the worst criminals are given to solitary confinement, and the elderly fear that they will be left alone in a nursing home.  Society has taught us to fear that idea that we could be left alone.  

And so, out of fear, we often move toward noise and crowds.  Next time you walk through the mall or a crowded area, look for people who are alone.  Most of them will either be playing on their phone, reading something, or doing anything to keep from looking like they have been left alone.  The earbuds are the usual tool for deflecting loneliness in teenagers, anything to keep from being condemned to silence.  

So, out of the fear of being left alone, we stay busy.  We lack the kind of solitude that we as Christians need to stay centered.  We need the kind of inner solitude[1] that leads to fulfillment.  Loneliness is inner emptiness, but solitude is inner fulfillment.  If we possess inner solitude it keeps us from the fear of being alone. 

The fear of being alone keeps us from practicing the discipline of solitude.  I think that’s a fair statement, right?  It is for me anyway.  But beyond that fear is something even more difficult for most of us to overcome.  It is that we not only are drawn to crowds, but also to noise.  We simply do not know how to practice silence.  If solitude is the means, then the end would be an encounter where God speaks into our lives and we listen.  But the act of listening (and this is where most of us stumble) involves the absence of speech.  The kind of silence we are talking about is the kind where we hear God.  So to simply refrain from talking without listening to God is not silence.  Our distractions have to be silenced.  Our pride in ourselves has to be silenced.  Our need for self-justification has to be silenced. 

But what does self-justification have to do with solitude.  Richard Foster puts it like this – “One reason we can hardly bear to remain silent is that it makes us feel so helpless.  We are so accustomed to relying upon words to manage and control others.  If we are silent, who will take control?  God will take control, but we will never let him take control until we trust him.  Silence is intimately related to trust.”

Solitude is a discipline we must practice.  It is where God does some of his most important work on our souls.  “Every distraction of the body, mind, and spirit must be put into a kind of suspended animation before this deep work of God upon the soul can occur.  It is like an operation in which the anesthetic must take effect before the surgery can be performed.”

So, how crowded and how noisy is your life?  How crowded and noisy is the life of your family?  Jesus purposefully made time for solitude with God (Matthew 4:1-11, Luke 6:12, Matthew 14:13, Matthew 14:23, Mark 1:35, Mark 6:31, Luke 5:16, Matthew 17:1-9, Matthew 26:36-46).  If he needed solitude (inner fulfillment), how much more do we need to separate ourselves from the noise and crowds of life so we can listen to him speak into our lives?  How much more do teenagers need this solitude as they grow and develop spiritually amidst a world of temptation and mediocrity?

We should know that when we are alone, we are not alone. 

“Settle yourself in solitude and you will come upon Him in yourself”  -Teresa of Avila

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[1] For more on the idea of inner solitude, see Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster.  

Remember When...

Christmas is approaching quickly.  Now, I'm not big on spending money for gifts at Christmas.  But trust me, I don't mind receiving them.  The older I have gotten (and perhaps wiser), the more I have begun to appreciate Christmas because it provides the opportunity to create new memories and cherish the old memories together with people that matter the most to me.  It's easy to forget, but God gave us the gift of memory.  Remember the movie Ground Hog Day?  Or Fifty First Dates?  Could you even imagine waking up every day to the same thing or not being able to remember anything from the day before?  The ability to remember is a tremendous gift.

Now...remember your favorite Christmas present as a child.  What was it?  Who gave it to you?  What did you do with it?  Most importantly, how long did it take you to open that present?  I never had a chance to open my favorite Christmas gifts.  Usually I snuck around and found them, or I was able to convince my mom to go ahead and give them to me early.  She couldn't help herself.  She loved watching my excitement (that or she was tired of me bugging her)!

The point is this...when we think there is something we'll like or it's a gift important to us, we waste no time opening it.  We can't wait to open it up and see what benefit or fun it will bring us.

Have you ever watched siblings opening presents?  They carefully count, with some type of equation only they can understand, to see who winds up with the best stash from Christmas.  Or, if one kid gets something so incredible, the other is distraught.  They will mope and mope neglecting all the gifts left for them under the tree.  Well it's sad, but I think the Christian life is sometimes like this scenario...

Take a look at Micah 6:1-8.  It's a courtroom scene.  God is indicting Israel for their wrongdoings.  This is a scary place to be.  I'd hate to be put on trial in front of God with all my sin being exposed.  Somehow the people have tried to blame God.  But God asks, "How have I done you wrong?"  Then, he goes on to list four different times when he has bailed the people out of trouble to make good on his promise that they, as the chosen people, would in fact see the Promised Land.  We can be the kid pouting at Christmas because of what everyone else has received, but that's never God's fault.  It becomes easy to whine and complain if we never choose to unwrap the gifts set before us.  I think that's what happened with the nation of Israel.  They forgot to unwrap the gift of memory.  In doing so, when things went wrong, they began to pout, put themselves on a pedestal by blaming God, forgot how God had blessed them, and failed to bless others.

Verses 3-5 make it clear that God is on our side.  The difficulty for us comes in verses 6-7.  God also makes it clear that finding joy in our relationship with him is not about what we can give him, but it is about cherishing the gifts that he has given us.  Without opening up the gift of relationship, we'll never get it.  One of those greatest gifts is the gift of memory.  When we forget the past, we no longer have a debt of gratitude, no sense of obligation, and no feeling of intimacy because the bond with Christ is broken.  Memories serve to strengthen the bond between friends.  The same is true for us as Christians.  Scripture makes it clear that we are called to remember.  Finally, Micah makes it clear what we are to do.  We are to love justice, love mercy, and to walk humbly with God.  How do we come to a place where we love justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with God?  We remember how His justification, His mercy, and His walk with us forever changed our lives.  Remembrance is kind of like a prerequisite to a life of worship and prayer.  I love how The Message puts verse 5.  It says, "Keep all God's salvation stories fresh and present."  I'm guessing if we made that a priority things like worship and prayer would look drastically different in the lives of our churches and families.

Remembrance is an exercise of the mind that changes the heart.  I feel drawn in when I think about all God has done for me.  I have goose bumps right now as I'm writing this as I remember when...

Pray the Cliche

Have you ever stopped to think about what we pray in church?  It's almost as if there is a prescribed way to pray when we our in church.  Somehow, our brain tingles a little bit differently, our vocabulary sounds like the seventh page of the SAT's, and our voice takes on a sort of Shakespearian tone.  Sounds familiar doesn't it?  One thing is for sure when we pray in church...We certainly pray the cliche.  

(clears throat, assumes perfect posture, bows head, and closes eyes)

"Dear Lord, be with us now in these moments because we know, Lord, that where two or three are gathered in Your name, there you are in there midst, Lord.  Just help me to let go and let God.  May I love the sinner  but hate the sin.  Help me to get right so I don't get left.  I mean, I've got to stand for something or I'll fall for anything.  I know you love me just as I am, but too much to leave me there.  Bring a fresh move of Your Spirit so all of us believers can stand in the gap as You raise up a new generation.  Yes, Lord, Your pain is definitely my gain.  Amen." ([re]UNDERSTANDING Prayer by Kyle Lake, pg. xxii)

Ouch.  That really hurts.  Especially since that is exactly what I have done from time to time in my life.  Whenever I am empty and void of true and honest communion with God, I can always pray the cliche.  I keep it in my back pocket in case I need it somewhere.  I can pull out the youth friendly version, the senior adult version, the suit and tie version, and the hurry-pray-before-somone-takes-a-bite-version!

What I have discovered in my up and down prayer life is that simple prayer goes a long way.  Take a look at the Lord's Prayer for instance.  It's about simple everyday needs.  It's about our place before God.  It's also about who God is and what he wants from us.  It is a plea to God to be faithful to his promise.  I have taken time the last few days to move deeper into the Lord's Prayer.  So far, I am stuck on the first two words - "Our Father."  There is so much richness in those two words that I have sat right in the midst of them this past week.  So many verses, emotions, feelings, remembrances have billowed out of my soul this week just in thinking of those two words.  I cannot tell you how much I have prayed those words over and over this past week.  And, I feel like my prayer life has grown tremendously.  It's as if those words of Jesus have now become the very echo of my soul, and they carry me.  Simply awesome!

But the journey to these two words has not been easy.  I've had to leave cliches, my favorite Christian phrases, and my prayer reflexes behind.  What has kept me from this journey?  I think my upbringing has scripted for me what the drama of my prayer life is supposed to be.  I'm supposed to pray at particular times, with particular words, and for particular things.  But this journey has moved me far beyond these lies.  Just like I can act like I'm supposed to for certain situations and people, I can pray like I'm supposed to for certain situations and people.  Somewhere along the way I was fed a lie.  It's a lie that tells me I'm supposed to have everything together before I pray.  I think this is a particularly big struggle for our teens.  Then I found freedom in prayer.  Richard Foster put it this way - "We pray by grace just as we are saved by grace.  God has a relationship with us despite our sinfulness, mixed motives, and selfish nature."

Over this past week, I have laid before God what is in me, not what ought to be in me.  I have learned prayer simply by praying.  I'll put it to you this way.  If you've got kids or have been a kid (are we missing anyone?) then at some point you created some pretty awful artwork.  But when you brought it home, your parents thought it was the greatest thing ever.  They put that junk all over the fridge removing any chance of your house ever being featured in Southern Living.  It was museum worthy to them, especially if it had anything to do with them or said "To: Mom" or "To: Dad," "From: Ross (insert your name or your child's here to make sense of this!)  It was better than anything they had ever seen.  Well if we go back to those first two words, "Our Father," then I suppose we are God's children.  I would imagine I have quite a few awful prayer drawings slapped up on God's fridge.  And because I put his name on them, I know he is a proud Father.  Not to mention I'm sure he's not worried about living anywhere in the southern vicinity, if you catch my drift.

The point is simple.  Simply pray, and pray simply.  Do an experiment with your teens or as a family.  Walk through the Lord's Prayer a couple words a week.  Meditate and talk together in the way Jesus taught us to pray.  I had plans for moving on next week, but I'm not sure I'm past "Our Father."

The Undignified and Unpredictable Worshipper

Stop!  Wherever you are, take the next five seconds off of work, the kids, or your busy schedule.  Stand up, and show off your best dance moves!  No, really, get up and dance like a good Baptist should!

Seems a bit undignified, a little improper for the workplace...and it might be.  But, undignified and unpredictable should be key characteristics of us as worshippers.  Look at the story of David bringing home the ark of the covenant (2 Samuel 6:12-16).  As he worships in an undignified manner, God is certainly pleased.  True worship forgets what others think.  Sometimes, it even makes others uncomfortable.  I mean really, what if people just broke out in dance for God?  I personally would be a bit uncomfortable.  For five seconds Wednesday night I asked the kids to stand and show off their best dance moves.  Some participated.  Others just kind of stood there looking really awkward.  They were too concerned with what others thought.  But in that moment, they were the ones who looked out of place.  I mean if 15 out of the 100 kids are going bananas with their best dance moves, that overshadows the other 85 who are just standing still in place.  Our worship carries this same weight.  True worship doesn't care about others.  It's not concerned with rules and regulations, tempo, or genre.  True worship is shown in undignified love and affection for God.  Or flip to Luke 15 and read the story of the Prodigal Son.  The father bounces out of his rocking chair on the front porch when he sees his son off in the distance.  Instead of waiting for him to return, he runs after him so that he can embrace him ASAP!  A king and a father in ancient culture coming unglued in undignified forms of affection.  That is the essence of the undignified worshipper.  So, now that you've read this go ahead and actually stand up and bust out the most convincing 5 seconds of the water sprinkler ever seen!

True worship isn't just undignified, but it's unpredictable.  It grows out of spontaneous encounters with Christ.  Read Mark 14:1-9.  The woman's worship happens in an unscripted encounter.  She is free to respond to Christ in a way that is deep, is intimate, and unpredictable.  It's a beautiful and gripping scene. We, the church, are God’s bride.  We’re not meant to have a dry and predictable relationship.  It’s a divine romance full of life and energy.  True romance is never predictable.  It cannot contain its instinctive responses to the one it adores.  People in love do lots of crazy things.  They do things that probably embarrass the people around them.


William Barclay says it this way, “Love does not stop to nicely calculate the less or more; loves does not stop to work out how little it can respectably give.  With a kind of divine extravagance, love gives everything it has and never counts the cost.  Calculation is never any part of love.”


Give everything as you worship!  Be an undignified and an unpredictable worshipper.  Embarrass your kids and family and break out in an unscripted and undignified life song that is written and played in response to the God who got up from his seat and chased after you!